So I went on a date Tuesday night with an OKCupid-er and I think I’m going to give up online dating. I mean, the guy was perfectly nice…but there were some moments that, in retrospect, should have been key indicators for me to get an “emergency call from my family” aka putting my brother Michael on speaker phone and having him run the rest of the date for me.
And what are these “key moments” that have made me sworn off online dating you ask? Well…
- He went to Yale…and wore his college ring (and no, he’s not still in college nor is he a recent graduate).
- He was legitimately confused when I said I was Italian…even though my last name has more vowels than you can shake a stick at.
- I paid for some of our drinks. Now, I know what you’re thinking but I swear I’m not a raging bitch. I’m just a chick who will always offer to pay but expect the guy to brush off my offer on the first date.
- We played Connect 4 at Common Ground (
) and he tried to talk to me about the “econ stats” of Connect 4. Now, I’m no finance aficionado but even I know that doesn’t make sense.
I mean, this date was exponentially better than IBS dude but I’d still like to have one normal date. I’m not asking for a lot. I mean, I already have a job…so I’m not even facing the same struggles that most women in America are facing these days:
So to all the men of NYC: if you’re relatively normal; aren’t still obsessed with your alma mater; will pay for drinks on the first date; and don’t have a chronic disease that makes you shit yourself, please holler.