Heading to the beach and don’t know what to wear? AC broke and you can’t stand the thought of putting actual clothes on? Too fat to actually be caught dead this summer with anything but a m0o moo that’ll absorb your sweat?
Well bang bang! have I got a solution for you:
I’ve already ordered 2. Jealous? You should be.
My trip to Amsterdam was amazing, but ahh it is good to be back in America. My sister was easily the best tour guide I’ve ever had (I’ve never had a tour guide), in 6 days we hit about 500 landmarks, museums, bars, shops and trips to outer space. The artitechture is stunning, the art is abundant, the drugs are potent, and the hookers are skanky. Sadly, I can’t get the image of this 15 year old kid walking out of a fat Hispanic hooker’s room in the Red Light District. Nothing like losing your virginity and gaining herpes in the same trip. Well I’m fighting some serious jet lag right about now and desperately need to focus.
Doei!
In honor of the long weekend and the fact that our office had an early release, this weekend’s video is a special edition of “Party in the USA.”
So get after and please, for the love of God and the sake of my embarrassment, get weird!
See y’all on Tuesday.
Is anyone else kinda fucking stoked for this movie?
It’s got everything I love: Aziz Ansari (check!), bodacious car chase scene (check!), Kenny Powers (check!), and a catchy jingle that will live on forever like the “Best Friends” song in The Hangover (check!). August 12th: you’re making my dreams come true.
This can’t be real, can it?
…We convince Flavor Flav to plank on a truck outside Newsbeast HQ—to promote his new book, “Flavor Flav: The Icon.” Possibly one of the best moments of our lil’ Tumblr existence. (via Newsweek’s Tumblr)
Not only has planking hit our shores but Newsweek – the hippest, trendiest, hands down hottest media outlet - convinced Flava Flav to plank in the name of shameless promotion for his book. Am I losing my mind? I mean, this is Newsweek. They thought Fordham was the hottest Catholic school in the country! (And yes, I went to Fordham….and I’m proud enough to say that we’re not hot, not one bit). maybe it’s just me, but I feel like this week just keeps getting more and more bizarre.
…you completely neglect your blog and post shit like this:
And THIS:
Promise I’ll be better tomorrow. Actually…that’s a lie. I have a Captain Morgan event tonight. I”ll probably be just as terrible.
I’m not a very political person - so I apologize for talking about Obama so much these days – but this legit made me chuckle:
compliments of Buzzfeed
P.S. I’m totally inspired to re-work my signature so it looks like a badass animal. I’ve got enough letters in my name…I’m confident I can make it work.
This is a PSA brought to you by MDHT:
OK, that’s not a video I created…but I do want to remind you not to get in cars with strangers. Last night I had a random passenger car drop me off at my third bar of the evening. Nothing happened and it was totally fine but real talk, it was probably the most fucked up decision I’ve ever made. If MDHT teaches you anything, please let it be that.
I have no idea how this got away from me but today is MDHT’s 1st birthday! Do you remember our first post? You shouldn’t. I was drunk and watching an episode of Glee and 3 days away from move to NYC. God…that was such a long time ago!
Anyways. I’ve got plans to celebrate a friend’s birthday at Boxers Bar, a gay sports bar here in the city where the bartenders are insanely hot and tend the bar in just their boxers (or some variation on that). I don’t know about you, but that seems like a totally appropriate place to cheers the success of this blog. Who knows…maybe I’ll get hopped up and make even more poor life choices!
