How to Grocery Shop and Find Love

WARNING: You’ll probably laugh out loud…and loudly. Do not continue reading if you are in an important meeting or conference and don’t want to be called out for not paying attention.

You farted in Whole Foods – m4w – 30 (Boston)

From craigslist Boston.

You were the tall brunette with the near-perfect body who farted in the bread section last night. I was the tall guy next to you who asked, “Was that you?” You quickly replied, “No! Wasn’t me” and almost seemed insulted I would ask. As the stink grew, you continued to deny the flatulence, but it was evident. 

I tried to get rid of the stench by waving two loaves of ciabatta bread. You stormed off in an angry huff. You are beautiful, and even if you’re a liar and fart like a Clydesdale, I’d love to meet up sometime.

No joke, I’m going to start ripping farts in Whole Foods and checking Missed Connections starting IMMEDIATELY. I always thought I was being polite by not tooting a melody on my butt trumpet, but maybe I’m missing out on true love!
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