…Was totally telling the truth. Even your worst enemy couldn’t plan a flying drop kick that misses and knocks yourself out. Someone get this guy on suicide watch stat. I wouldn’t show my face to the public for weeks. It would just be me, a bottle of whiskey, a box of Cheez-its, and a law & order marathon for a good month or two.
PostChronicle.com – A former medical school student accused of being the “Craigslist Killer” killed himself in a Boston jail cell Sunday, authorities said.
Suffolk County Sheriff’s office spokesman Steven Tompkins said Philip Markoff, 24, was pronounced dead at 10:17 a.m., The Boston Globe reported.
Markoff was awaiting trial in the April 14, 2009, shooting death of Julissa Brisman, 25, a New York masseuse who had traveled to Boston after advertising her services on Craigslist, an online classified ad service. He also was charged with armed robbery and kidnapping in two other incidents in which the victims were not injured.
Boston Police Commissioner Edward Davis and county District Attorney Daniel F. Conley said in a statement all evidence collected so far indicated Markoff took his own life, though an investigation was ongoing.
“I’m shocked and saddened by the news,” said John Salsberg, Markoff’s attorney, who declined further comment.
The Globe said Markoff, whose next court appearance wasn’t until next month, had been placed on suicide watch soon after being arrested several days after Brisman was slain.
Well are you surprised? I mean, I think we all saw this coming a mile away. Kid was a goody two-shoes who decided to get a little rowdy, made a couple poor life choices, and ended up in jail as a result. I’m actually legit shocked he waited this long to kick it, but maybe that’s just me.
But the real question here is: when are they going to release deets on how he did it? Cause that’s what I want to know. Like how do you kill yourself in jail when you’re on fucking suicide watch? Don’t they take anything and everything away from you that you could potentially injure yourself with?
So what do you think it was? Did he stick his head in the toilet bowl until he drowned? Swallowed his underwear and choked to death? Ripped his own heart out with his bare hands? The suspense is legit killing me…
Yahoo.com – “Andrew Kurtz, 24, of New Brighton, one of the 18 men who take turns posing as pierogies in a crowd-pleasing race after the fifth inning of every game at PNC Park, was dismissed by the team Thursday because he posted disparaging remarks about the Pirates on his Facebook page …
“(His message was) aimed at team president Frank Coonelly, general manager Neal Huntington and manager John Russell. It read: ‘Coonelly extended the contracts of Russell and Huntington through the 2011 season. That means a 19-straight losing streak. Way to go Pirates.’”
How depressing is this kids’ life? Seriously though. Not only was he a mascot for a team on a serious losing streak but he was a pierogi. A PIEROGI! It’s almost as bad as the Stanford Tree. But then to add insult to injury, he was fired for making a not-so-subtle-but-true statement about the team he ran around in a pierogi costume for! Unfuckingbelievable.
